Bollywood, truly not for all Indians

Greetings my well wishers

I’ve blogged after a long long time, hell I can say its almost been eternity since I last blogged. Anyways I won’t make any excuses for not being active for so long.

Lets begin with the issue I’m addressing with this blog.

There have many many of those so called PATRIOTIC Indians who have always come up with the world’s most pathetic generalisation, i.e. by  stressing on the fact that, “You are not a true Indian if you are not obsessed with Cricket & Bollywood“.

Now as you all know that I’m by no means a Cricket lover (& Sachin or for that matter Sir Bradman are not my Gods), but I do believe that Cricket runs in the blood of a large majority of Indians, as it truly unifies us and our Cricket team now represents almost every colour of the diverse multicultural rainbow our great nation is.

So yes, we can say that a large majority of Indians are Cricket maniacs.

But when the talk of Bollywood comes in, I beg to differ (In a major way).

Often Indian Cinema, is presented to western audiences as Bollywood. And Bollywood doesn’t mean simply Hindi Movies.

It means all those Hindi Movies of post 90’s era that are Loud, Cheesy, Over The Top, Logicless, Melodramatic, NAACH GAANA RONA DHONA infused kind of Nautankis whose plots are mostly plagiarized from South Indian & Bengali as well as Hollywood, European & even Persian and Korean movies now.

Theres much more to Indian Entertainment than Yash Raj, Dharma Productions, Balaji, Rajshree Productions, Red Chillies Entertainemnt and the movies of Sanjay Leela Bhansali, David Dhawan, Ram Gopal Verma & Mahesh Bhatt.

For me, good Indian Hindi Cinema (not Bollywood) is the Cinema that didn’t believe in extremes. Extremes being either Poverty & Misery (The Sudhir Mishra, Deepa Mehta, Madhur Bhandarkar & now Danny Boyle school of movies) or Extravagance & Aristocracy (The Chopra, Johar, Ghai & Bhansali school of movies).

Indian Hindi Cinema for me are the movies I can relate to, the movies that make me feel, “Fuck Man, this can really happen“. Its that cinema that had pioneers like Guru Dutt, Hrishikesh Mukherjee, Vijay ‘Goldie’ Anand and now today Anurag Kashyap, Nagesh Kuknoor, Rajat Kapoor & Dibakar Banerjee  are the torchbearers of that cinema. And yes that cinema is by no means Shyam Benegal, Muzzafar Ali or Govind Nihalani’s largely unwatchable parallel arthouse cinema.

I was just going through an old issue of Society magazine  (September 2008) and I read the following comments from some Shuchi Pandya, a jewelry merchandiser in Mumbai. I simply puked, yes puked after reading her comments. I was so disgusted by reading them. Luckily there was some Heineken Beer available to drink to calm myself down. Heres what she says -

“If you take all the pieces of Bollywood out of our lives – the celebrities on the billboards, the item songs in the nightclubs, the stars on Page 3, the brand endorsements by the hearthrobs – Indians would find their lives to be completely empty,” said Shuchi Pandya, a jewelry merchandiser in Mumbai. “It’s subconscious. Even if you don’t enjoy Bollywood movies, it becomes a part of your life.”

Well, I don’t have a very high opinion of the current generation of both Resident & Non-Resident Indian masses when it comes to their choices in entertainment (the success of shitty films like Om Shanti Om, Dhoom 2, Partner, Hey Baby, Welcome, Race, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi & Ghajini etc as well as the growing popularity of sensationalised & voyeuristic Hindi news channels, Ekta Kapoor’s Melodramtic Over The Top Saas-Bahu Serials & Himesh Reshammiya’s ear piercing Nasal Music, all together prove my point) but this generalization is simply untrue.

Ms. Shuchi Pandya should speak for herself/himself and the Bollywood fans she is friends with and not generalize that all Indians lead lives of such pathetic and unrelieved shallowness that the only matter animating them is Bollywood movies. The editorial team at Society magazine are idiot sensationalists willing to convey the impression to their ‘Vilaayti‘ readers that all Indians are empty-headed morons.

Apart from me, there are many Indians I know, for whom Bollywood movies occupy limited or no space at all in their minds.
Down with this Pathetic Generalization.

To prove Shuchi Pandya worng, I must remind everyone that not all Indians are obsessed with Bollywood. People in the 4 Southern States (Tamil Nadu, Karnataka, Kerala & Andhra Pradesh) are much more connected with their cinema than they are with Bollywood. No wonder Rajnikanth in Tamil Nadu, the late Dr. Raj Kumar in Karnataka, Mohanlal in Kerala & the now politician Chiranjeevi in Andhra Pradesh are far more popular in their respective states and within their respective communities all over the world than any Khan, Kumar, Khanna, Kapoor & Bachchan.  After all, unlike the plastic, Designer Attired waxed chested heroes of Bollywood with their artificial Six pack Abs & Steroid pumped Bulging Bisceps, the South Indian hero in most cases has been dark skinned, moustached, pot bellied and wears a lungi. In other way, the Southern hero is just like the average South Indian man and hence people of the South relate so well with them and no wonder they worship them as Gods.

Even Bengalis are not so much into Bollywood (Mithudna & Prosenjit are equal to the Khans there) and the rural population of UP & Bihar has now started connecting better with the Bhojpuri movies as Bollywood mostly glorifies Punjabi culture – all Yash Chopra, Subhash Ghai & Karan Johar movies prove the point. No wonder, in the UP-Bihar belt, Ravi Kissan & Manoj Tiwari have come in the same league of mass popularity as the Khans while Nagma is also in the same league as Aishwaria Rai or Katrina Kaif.

And the people of North East have developed a strong liking for Korean Cinema as its very rich in content (much richer than Bollywood) and a North Eastern would obviously love to see an actor or actress of their race on the screen.

So this proves that a large percentage of the Indian population, almost 35 to 40% of it doesn’t have Bollywood stuck in their heads. And why should they? After all, Bollywood has always been Stereotyping most of them.

Pseudo-Intellectual Directors like Mahesh Bhatt & Karan Johar praise Mumbai by saying that “Bollywood best represents the city’s cosmopolitan soul.” I suppose Bollywood style cosmopolitanism means taking digs at other communities and promoting cheap stereotypes of other communities. I suppose Bollywood style cosmopolitanism means plagiarising Western and now even Persian and Korean movies. I suppose it also means having its own caste system, where hoplessly untalented nincompoop sons and daughters of yesteryears stars (Tusshar Kapoor, Uday Chopra, Vivek Oberoi, Esha Deol, Zayed Khan, Adhyayan Suman and not to forget Abhishek Bachchan & Harman, oops Hurman S Baweja) with well known last names but little or no acting talent are promoted as super stars. If this is their ‘soul’, it is time some one put it to rest.

Now, talking about being cosmopolitan, here’s where Bollywood respects Maharashtrians. (Now I’m not even remotely a Marathi and neither I’m a supporter or admirer of the looney and eccentric Thackeray parivar). In a scene from the movie “Phir Hera Pheri” that appears close to 2 hours into the movie, where Johny Lever rips through a painting of a Lady. In that scene, when the knife cuts through the painting on the other side, the person on the painting looks remarkably similar to Sant Tukaram , one of the most popular Maharashtrian saints from the Bhakti movement. If Bollywood cosmopolitanism stands for attacking the sentiments of the people of Maharashtra, then I think Marathis really don’t need it in Mumbai. The Bolywood people can make Allahabad a cosmopolitan city, as they define it as the home of the 1st Family of Bollywood.

 

I have observed that these Bollywood folks sell their shit to the foriegn audiences as movies that are Indian and that represent Indian people, their traditions and Culture. But the fact is, most Bollywood movies have been only glorifying North Indian, that too mostly Punjabi culture. But we can’t help it can we, after all, more than 80% of people involved in Bollywood since the past 5 decades are Punjabis.

Look at the recent Popular Bollywood movies, Dilwaale Dhulaniya Le Jaayenge, Gadar Ek Prem Katha, Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, Veer-Zaara, Hey Baby, Partner, Namastey London, Baghban, Bunty Aur Babli, Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal, Jab We Met, Apne or the recent releases Singh is King, Dostana & Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi. Almost all these movies had characters who were Punjabis (and mostly played by North Indians) and settings in Punjabi culture.

Being a Delhiite, most of my friends are Punjabis and I love Punjabi culture for its celebration of life with Bhangra, Food & their Grand Weddings. But is Punjabi culture the only rich & vibrant culture in India?

Why are not Bollywood makers making movies about other ethnic groups of India?

If we can have a Singh is King, why can’t we have a Godbole is Great , or Iyer is Incredible or Banerjee is Brilliant or Patel is Perfect. Whats wrong with that u Bollywood makers.

In the past few years as I’ve observed, not a single major Bollywood movie is made with a Marathi, or a Gujrati or a Kashmiri or a Gharwali or an Oriya as the protagonist. The last time Bollywood went to Bengal was for Parineeta in 2006 and went to Assam in 2001 with Daman. And Manoj Bajpai’s Swami in 2007 was the only time in the past decade that Bollywood made a movie on South Indian Culture.

Theres not even a single Bollywood movie so far that features a major character from the North East. I see no surprise in people of that region not watching any Bollywood stuff and preferring Korean movies, after all they represent their race.

And Bollywood does sterotyping big time. Why are South Indians shown as minor characters, that too only as Dark Skinned “Annas” – Restaraunt Owners or Buffoons. Why are Nepalis reduced to foolish Shalaam Shahab type Watchmen. Why are Goans shown as only alchoholic and lazy Catholic Christians saying Hey Man, Kya Man. (The Truth is Goa has more Hindus than Christians and not all Goans – Hindus or Christians love alchohol nor they talk in Hey Man, Kya Man lingo). What about Gujratis & Marwaris, why are they only shown as Miser, Evil, Middle Aged and Pot Bellied Businessmen? Why are Parsis (Zorastrians) usually shown as middle aged, goofy & asexual loosers (all those roles Dinesh Hingoo plays)

And talking about Marathis, well most of them are shown as cheap people. Either Evil Corrupt Cops who are killed by the ‘Hero’ in the end  (the way Marathi actors like Sadashiv Amrapurkar, Shivaji Satham & Sayaji Shinde are depicted in Bollywood movies). Or Marathis are shown as Dumb & Goofy Constables (Havaldars) the way Ashok Saraf & Late Laxmikant Berde were depicted, or as rude Taxi Drivers (Nana Patekar) or as Kaamwali Bais (Maids). Or they are reduced as Dumb (though hilarious) Caricatures like Babu Rao Apte – Paresh Rawal’s character in Hera Pheri movies.

CNN IBN editor-in-chief Rajdeep Sardesai once said in an interview of his with Asha Bhonsle - “You are not a Patriotic Indian if you don’t watch and like Bollywood movies”.

I say – “Hell with it, with this stereotyping, Bollywood is by no means a litmus Test for any True Patrotic Indian”.

Bollywood clearly doesn’t represent all Indians as equals, and neither most of its movies are made kepping in mind the diversity of the different Indian cultures & ethnicites. As the Blog says, Bollywood is truly not for all Indians, and unlike most Bollyheads don’t want to listen to, its good to know that Bollywood is not a National obsession as many would like us to believe. 

Now one of the readers of this blog and my close friend, Simranjeet Singh whose a Hatta – Katta Sardar (Sikh), that too a very proud one and who has spent a lot of time in Jullundher (the heart pf Punjab) and whose also not a Big Bollywood fan, has these things to say after he read this blog-

Regarding Bollywood, I can’t even tell how much pissed I am on Bollywood which is suffering from Punjabiphobia. I am pissed not because of the overdose of punjabi culture but because what is shown in these movies is not even eligible to qualify as punjabi.

For Bollywood, Punjabi culture means sarso ke khet, couple of tainu-mainu dialogs, big families dancing & dancing & dancing. Sadly these movies doesn’t even seem to be made for a normal moviegoer, they seem more like the works of Punjab Tourism Department.

And the major force behind this is Chopras. They have ridiculed punjabi culture in every possible way. Their characters are laughable, they cannot even mouth the dialogoues properly. I am not asking for them to say every line in punjabi but they should keep the characters real.

Take a look at Dibakar Banarjee, his movies are believable. In both of his movies – Khosla Ka Ghosla & Oye Lucky Lucky Oye, in spite of not having many dialogues in punjabi, he made the audiences believe in characters. We know that the families are punjabi. He is one of those rare talented filmmakers who knows how to keep the authenticity of the characters.

Brother you are mistaken that these movies glorify punjabi culture. Infact they just do the opposite becuase if that wasn’t the case then how can one justify the works of chopras, johars, countless scenes of showing sikhs as stupid people (topping the charts is Singh is King) barring few movies like Gadar, Border, Sarhad Paar.

And why do we single out only Sikhs or Punjabis?
What about people from North-east who are labeled as chinkis or chowmeins, people from Bihar and UP who are often portrayed as filthy, pan chewing gangsters for whom only 3 things are important – Desi Katta, desi sharaab, and some naachne waali.

So we have here a proud Punjabi who his himself Pissed off with Bollywood’s Punjabiphobia and who has proved that Bollywood, doesn’t glorify, rather mocks Punajbi culture. Bravo Simranjeet paaji for your valuable contribution.

So, Ms. Shuchi Pandya and your ilk, think 1000 times & do some research the next time you Generalize Indians.  Yours Ms. Pandya is a classic case of the frog in the well thinking the whole world is in the well. The stupidity which passes for intellectualism in our culture, shows the intellectual degradation of the elites.

Lostprophets Rock Big Time

Greetings my Well Wishers

Its after a very long time that I’ve blogged. I really appologise for my long absence. But I promise you that the stuff I’m gonna bombard you with will leave you gobsmacked.

Okie enough of exaggeration, this post of mine is about one of the most underrated Rock Bands in the world today and one of my personal favourites, LOSTPROPHETS.

I don’t know how many of you are interested in Rock music these days, coz we’r living in the age of Hip-Hop & Trance music (the age of Himesh for most of my native Indians). But I can always vouch for Rock music being one of the most Feel Good & Melancholy Eradicating forms of music in the world. And especially if it comes from the heartland of Rock – the United Kingdom.

Lostprophets is one hell of an amazing band. They are a gropu of 20- something Welsh boys, all from very humble backgrounds. The gropu comprises of Ian Watkins (Lead Vocals), Jamie Oliver (Keyboard, Synthesiser & Addt. Vocals), Lee Gaze (Lead Guitar), Mike Lewis (Guitar & Addt. Vocals), Stuart Richardson (Bassist) and Ilan Rubin (Drums & Percussion). They juggle with Genres from Hard Rock,  Punk Rock, Alternative Rock & Alternative Metal. I must say they are far better than the overrated and not so memorable French -Canadian Band  Simple Plan.

Lostprophets have given us some ming boggling Tracks such as “Rooftops, Last Train Home, Everyday Combat, Burn Burn, Shinobi vs Dragon Ninja & Last Summer”.

But “A Town Called Hypocrisy” is in my opinion their best track ever, and perhaps the best British Rock Song in the 21st Century (okie, Coldplay’s Speed of Sound & Viva La Vida are equally good).

And when a Kick Ass Rock Song gets complimented by an equally awesome Music Video, its purely icing on the Cake.

Heres the Music Video for you to view and enjoy. Its completely hilarious. Its set in the late 70s Britain and features the Band’s lead Vocalist ‘Ian Watkins’ as the Host of an Educational Kids Show where he teaches the lesson of the day being ‘Sharing & Oral Hygeine’. Now thats a lot of Double meaning stuff going on here, which makes the whole video a treat to watch. And plus Ian Watkin’s acting is 1st rate, he sure gives Jon Bon Jovi competition when it comes to making sarcastic and raunchy expressions.

I’m sure you all have loved both the song and the video. I guess I’ve made Lostprophets win some new fans. In case some of you have any suspicions about the band, let me clear the Air.  These guys are not Weirdo Goths like Marilyn Manson or Bad Hair Day Cribbing Emos like the band KISS.

Russel Peters on Bollywood

Despite being a North Indian myself, I don’t watch most of Bollywood movies. I used to watch them as a kid but since the past 7 years, after being exposed to lots of Hollywood Cult Masterpieces as well some brilliant New Wave French, Spanish, Korean & Persian movies and even some Bengali and Malyaalam movies, I now stand by the fact that 95% of Bollywood movies suck big time. They are a disgrace to world Cinema. These days, I only watch 2 or 3 Avant-Grade Bollywood movies (Stuff like Johnny Gaddaar, Khosla Ka Ghosla, Mumbai Meri Jaan, Tahaan etc) in a year as compared to about 50 International movies.

Often Indian Cinema, is presented to western audiences as Bollywood.

And Bollywood doesn’t mean simply Hindi Movies.

It means all those Hindi Movies of post 80’s era that are Loud, Cheesy, Over The Top, Logicalness, Melodramatic, NAACH GAANA RONA DHONA infused kind of Nautankis glorifying mostly Punjabi culture, stereotyping many other cultures and with plots that are mostly plagiarized from South Indian & Bengali as well as Hollywood, European & even Persian and Korean movies now.

What makers of Bollywood movies don’t realise is that Good movies are not about Big Budgets, Big Locations, Big Star Casts, Big Production Values, but they are about big ideas & solid content.

I’ve found a supporter in Canadian Stand Up-Comedian of Indian Origin, Russel Peters who shares the same opinion with me, when it comes to Bollywood.

Watch this Amazingly Hilarious Video of Russel Peters, as he dissects Bollywood for Western Audiences. Enjoy and fall of your chair while laughing.

 

 

 

LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN: An Anti-Climax Treat

Cast: – Josh Hartnett, Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Lucy Liu, Sir Ben Kingsley, Stanley Tucci & Sam Jaeger

Director: – Paul McGuigan

Screenplay: – Jason Smilovic

Year Released: – 2006

Run Time: – 1hr & 52 Minutes

We all know almost every story moves like a tidal wave with a linear format. First comes the Exposition, then the Rising Action, then the Climax, then the falling Action and finally the resolution, or should we say the end. And then there are guys like Quentin Tarantino, who make it more exciting and sometimes mind numbing by narrating all those elements of the story in a non-linear format. However, on some rare occasions, a highly creative juggernaut comes up with a piece of fiction, that has all the elements of a story and everything going in a linear format, but just when you thought the resolution has come and the story has concluded, the creator breaks the conventional rules and comes up with a hard hitting anti- climax. An Anti-Climax is not just another twist or turn or a case of Double or Tripple Cross, it is an event or a sequence (in case of a movie) that completely changes the track of the story (a sort of a U-Turn) and you get to know that all the loopholes that were earlier in the story had actually some connection or the other with the event that’s gonna happen next. In fact, after the establishment of the anti-climax, the genre of the narrative becomes totally different than what you thought it was all along. Not every writer, even the best ones can come up with an efficient anti-climax, and not every anti-climax is hard to digest. In the world of cinema, the perfect examples of Anti-Climaxes have been in Cult Movies like Bryan Singer’s “The Usual Suspects” and Chan wook-Park’s Divinely Korean Epic Film “Oldboy”. In both the movies, just when the viewer thought the end credits were about to roll, suddenly the viewer got the surprise of his/her life, that bowled him/her over.

Today I watched a very underrated & under-appreciated movie featuring an A-List Ensemble Cast and one of the perfect doses of Anti-Climax. The movie is called “Lucky Number Slevin” (and not seven). And I was indeed bowled over by the flick.
 
This film took me by surprise. It is an excellent movie with a compelling story, wonderful acting, and brilliant direction. I have not seen a gangster movie as intense since Infernal Affairs. It is the most complete and multi-dimensional Crime Thriller movie ever made after Al Pacino’s 1993 masterpiece “Carlito’s Way”. The movie is so damn intelligent that it is scary. It is a maze of really complex and it demands our complete attention for the whole running time. I got to admit that I watched this movie two more times, just to find a loophole. And I haven’t succeeded.

Without any spoilers, here is the plot. In Manhattan (New York), when the unlucky newcomer Slevin (Josh Hartnett) arrives in the apartment of his friend Nick Fisher (Sam Jaeger) for some leisure time, he is mistakenly taken as being Nick, who debts money to two powerful bosses of the criminal world. He is pressed by The Boss (Morgan Freeman) to kill the Homosexual son of The Rabbi (Sir Ben Kingsley, yup the same man who portrayed the iconic role of Gandhi in Richard Attenborough’s classic), as a payback for the death of The Boss’s son and pay off $33,000 to The Rabbi. Nick’s next door neighbor, Lindsay (a fast talking, incredibly seductive Lucy Liu), who works in the morgue, tries to help Slevin. Meanwhile, a mysterious man called Mr. Goodkat (Bruce Willis) is secretly plotting to kill Slevin and Slevin is under constant surveillance by the relentless Detective Brikowski (Stanley Tucci). As the movie’s Tagline goes, Slevin is at the “Wrong Place” at the “Wrong Time”.

From the first five minutes of the film, about five people die but you’re not so sure. Mainly, you’re not so sure of anything because this film is trying to be clever, trying to run you into false conclusions. On top of that, the film goes in a fast pace, so you will have to keep up and be on the edge of your seat. This film will keep your attention from top to bottom, provided you can stomach the bloody violence and sexual content.

The performances by the A-List Ensemble Cast are all First rate. Morgan Freeman is brilliant with his usual suave charm. Ben Kingsley is terrific as a Palestinian Crime Boss. Stanley Tucci’s character transforms perfectly from good to evil. Bruce Willis shows us again why he is a brilliant action star and why he is a natural born on-screen killer, something Sanjay Dutt & Akshay Kumar in Bollywood and Colin Farell in Hollywood can never ever achieve (And I mean it). But the movie belongs to the protagonist, i.e. Josh Hartnett in an author backed role he does full justice to.

This movie is a prime example of how a movie can be infinitely involving, thought provoking and artistic. This is the stuff great movies and masterpieces are made of. If you’re one of those people trying to look for a thriller that tries to keep you guessing until the end, you will love this movie. Lucky Number Slevin should be on the top of your list of intelligent and ingenious thrillers.

Johnny Gaddaar: A Cinematic Masterpiece

Greetings My Well Wishers

Most of you know that I’m not in love with Bollywood movies. I don’t like most of them, especially the post 1980s movies. With predictable story lines, irrelevant songs & dances, larger than life characters, unnecessary melodrama and bad acting by most cast members, 90% of Bollywood Movies are Extremely Crappy & Totally Ridiculous (in my opinion).

However, once in a few years, Hindi Cinema comes up with a movie that captures my attention and keeps me thinking about it. In the 21^st Century, there have been only 3 movies that have registered an impact on my mind and these are the movies that are genuinely a treat to watch no matter how many times you see them. The 3 movies are – Dil Chahta Hai, Munna Bhai MBBS and last year’s Johnny Gaddaar. And Johnny Gaddaar is really one hell of a Cinematic Masterpiece.

Johnny Gaddaar is a rare thriller in Indian Hindi Cinema with more than a dash of panache, and the slightest of chuckle. One of the greatest films and a very original one in this age of Plagiarism, to come out of Indian cinema. And that it has been underappreciated to the point of sin in favor of more substandard fare (like Om Shanti Om, Saawariya, Partner, Hey Baby, Welcome, Race and other crap) is more tragic than the ending at hand. This lad, Neil Nitin Mukesh is a dynamite and I just cannot get enough of that Sanjeev Kumar imitation. Dead on. And the supporting cast is equally good. Dharmendra proves why he’s one of the most dependable veterants in Hindi Cinema today with his classy act. Vinay Pathak delivers another brilliant performance and proves why he today is one of the most versatile actors in the country. Both Zakir Hussain & Govind Namdeo are perfect at spitting venom at the protagonist.

I sincerely believe Sriram Raghavan’s Johnny Gaddaar will attain the highly influential status in years to come as a film that will be run unendingly in cinema schools all over the country to carefully peel over the brilliant clarity of its narrative and its almost uncanny knack of pulling off the Hitchcock-ian trick. Its film that will probably be remade 30 years down the line and a film that could act as a wonderful export to International Film Festivals.

The story is simple nut and bolt stuff about a huge chunk of money and a member’s, in this case Vikram (Neil Nitin Mukesh), plan to lighten his partners of that sum. Of course, the nuts and bolts assemble into a wonderful whodunit-why dunit-how dunit but that is not the lone specialty here. But it is the clarity of the narrative and the ability of the filmmaker to play with audiences that makes Johnny Gaddaar a supreme film.

And this is a brilliant film, probably the one Indian film that will grow a cult following down the years.

 

Johnny Gaddaar isn’t mere thrilling escapist fare, there is that moral struggle of a mole that doesn’t beat its chest and shout but remains where it belongs, internally. And I can’t remember even a single sequence out of place. Quentin Tarantino once said that he wants to make movies for Friday nights, for audiences to have an absolute blast. This is one such film, a film that besides its central strength of the thrills and chills has plenty much to offer for the cinema lover, a hell of a lot of garnish.

I wish I had thousands of DVDs of this Cinematic Masterpiece so that I could distribute it among all my friends (including readers of the blog). However right now, you can’t eat the whole cake, but can definitely sample a slice of it, which is why I’m sharing with you a good quality video of this masterpiece movie. Enjoy the first 10 minutes of the movie and be thrilled.

Joker vs Joker

Greetings my well wishers

In my opinion, The Joker (not any circus clown or court jester but the psychotic criminal from “Batman” series) is the Greatest Fictional Supervillain of all time, and even the Batman comics never give a reason to his nature.

He is an absolute, there is no origin story to him. Even his entry into the comics was out of nowhere; he just enters their world and commits gruesome murders.

Joker is ultra evil personified. He’s not just evil, he’s menacing, diabolical, tripple crossing, merciless psycopath. He has ZERO compassion or sympathy for anyone, not even himself.

While other villians like Hannibal Lector, Norman Bates, Darth Vader and the Green Goblin were not evil, they became evil as a result of hostile circumstances. The Joker on the other hand has always been evil from the beginning to the end.

Whats the best thing about the Joker is that without any special superpowers (in case of Darth Vader) or without any armoured bodysuit (Dr. Doom and Green Goblin) or without any special weapon (Kryptonite in case of Luthor), The Joker succeeds big time in unleashing maximum fear and chaos among the people of Gotham City. In fact Batman has never been able to eliminate The Joker in any of the comic books or cartoons.

The Joker is not just psychotic and insane. He’s funny, crazy, weird, whacky, wild and at the same time equally creepy, wicked, menacing, diabolical and revengeful. Bollywood villains like Gabbar Singh from Sholay, Mogambo from Mr. India and Shakaal from Shaan can anyday be easily eliminated by The Joker. (Now please don’t call me an unpatriotic Indian)

Its not a piece of cake to portray a character as multi dimensional as The Joker and on planet earth, not more than Half a Dozen actors are capable of doing so.

No wonder when the two Batman movies were made featuring Joker as the villain, the studio bosses had chosen the most competent actors of their times to play such a role, or should I say live the character.

In 1989, when Warner Brothers released the first Batman movie titled “Batman” with maestro director Tim Burton calling the shots, the role of the Joker went to the only actor at that time who had the balls and the acting chops to be Joker, i.e. Jack Nicholson.

Left – Jack Nicholson as Joker in Batman (1989). Right – Heath Ledger as Joker in The Dark Knight

Jack Nicholson is one of the greatest and one of the most profound influences on me, first as a movie-goer and more importantly as a person. Though he’s no Al Pacino or Daniel Day-Lewis or Robert De Niro or Johnny Depp, Jack has consistently been a fantastic performer from One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest to Anger Management to the recent Bucket List. Jack can do wonderful things, he is a trickster who is fantastic to look at, like in The Departed or in The Shining, and he is someone who could affect you at a personal level. You’ll laugh with him, you’ll see how wonderfully he delivers a line, and you would have him create a character that is going to influence you forever.

As the 1989 Batman was made at a time when the Batman comics creator and perhaps the greatest legend in comic book history “Bob Kane” was alive, that movie was not as spine chilling edge of the seat thriller like this year’s Blockbuster “Dark Knight“, rather it was more of a comic book adaptation of a movie.

Jack Nicholson’s Joker was of the Slapstick kind, a goofy maniac. However Jack Nicholson never let his Joker become a buffoon or a stereotyped caricature like Jim Carrey and Tommy-Lee Jones beacme as The Riddler and Two Face respectively in the disappointing 1994 sequel Batman Forever.

Here’s an extraodianry scene from the Batman (1989) where Jack Nicholson as The Joker crashes a meeting of Mafia King Pins. Watch out for the Joker’s brilliant and witty one liners – “You are my Number one Guy” and “I’m Glad You’r Dead“.

 

 

Fast Forward to the year 2008. Warner Brothers had a successfull collaboration with the revival of the Batman series with another Maestro Director Christopher Nolan calling the shots. Their 2005 venture “Batman Begins” was a blockbuster and a critics favourite as well and hence the 2008 sequel “The Dark Knight” had to be obviously better in all departments and hence much darker.

When Jack Nicholson heard that Christopher Nolan is bringing back the Joker in this movie, Jack requested Nolan to cast him so that Jack could reprise his iconic act that he had perfected. But Jack is 77 now, plus as this version was not slapstick comic book stuff, but a dark gruesome death defying one, like all characters, The Joker deserved a younger and a highly competent actor to pull it off.

Jim Carrey cannot do it (He can be either funny or evil, but not both at the same time, remember the hammy Riddler in Batman Forever). Vince Vaughn also can never pull it off. (Remember his third rate performance as Norman Bates in the remake of Psycho). Sacha Baron Cohen, oh forget it. (Borat is a saint infront of Joker). Will Farell (He’s only funny, he will look funnier if he acts evil). Adam Sandler (No, not much acting potential). Edward Norton could do it. (But after what Jack Nicholson did in 1989, the standards were too high)

I thought maybe the studio bosses & Nolan would settle for Daniel Day-Lewis or Kevin Spacey. When it was announced that the now Late Heath Ledger is playing the new Joker, I doubted his acting abilities. I’d not seen much of him except in the action comedy “A Knight’s Tale” and the awful Gay Cowboy Drama “Brokeback Mountain“. At that time I’d thought of Heath as a Good actor, but in my wildest of  dreams had I ever imagined that Heath could do justice to the character of Joker. After all Jack Nicholson had played immortal characters in films like Chinatown and The Shining before Batman was released in 1989, but Heath hadn’t done anything of such high magnitude.

But when I saw The Dark Knight, I was spellbound and Heath’s performance left me speechless in all the viewings of the movie. For not only Heath became The Joker, he raised the bar so high that no matter how many legendary and competent actors come and go, no one and I believe no one can ever play The Joker even half as SUPERB as Heath Ledger did in The Dark Knight.

Unlike Darth Vader or Hannibal Lector, Heath Ledger’s Joker is something else. Those monsters succeeded in merely eroding the belief for men in the world surrounding them. This one here destroys the very moral foundation upon which the same men base that belief. Pay attention to every line of his. There’s great meaning and a great method to all of them. It is one of the greatest written characters of our times since Michael Corleone (The Godfather), Edward Scissorhands, Travis Bickle (Taxi Driver), Raju Guide (Guide) and Tyler Durden (Fight Club).

The Late Heath Ledger has created something of a flawless masterpiece of mannerisms and chewy larger-than-life supervillain. It is a colossal performance, and it is built with great precision upon what seems like a million parts. You have to watch the film at least three times to even get a complete hold of that performance alone. So yes, IT IS THAT GOOD. Consider a moment where one of the crime bosses interrupts his sentence and calls him a freak. Ledger’s Joker is visibly distracted but still completes what he’s saying. And then he looks at the boss and hits them back with a statement that is much more verbally insulting than any usage of an insult like ‘freak’ can be. Ledger’s Joker is not insane; he’s so brilliant he looks insane.  This here is the definitive version of the greatest villain of all time. It makes me immensely sad because there’s great tragedy when an artist isn’t there when his achievement receives such universal praise. I wish to God he was here to see all of this. May his soul rest in peace.

Heath Ledger made the Joker exude such immense class and virtue and made him the coolest villian ever shown on screen. It was for the first time that while watching a movie, me and all my friends were rooting for a villian throughout the movie (that too an ultra evil one) rather than the hero, or in this case, The Superhero.

Below is a scene from the Dark Knight which contains the best catchphrases of the movie, “Why So Serious” and “Lets Put a Smile on that Face“.

 

 

So now that you have read my analysis on both the Jokers (Jack Nicholson & Heath Ledger) and most of you must have watched both the thespians perform their act in the videos above, it must not have been easy for anyone of you to compare the two and come with a conclusion that which is the better Joker. As both actors belong to different generations and different schools of acting, its unfair to say which one is better.

I’ll end this up by saying that as far as movie villians are concerned, “The Joker” has been a treat for all cinema lovers in both the Batman movies. I wonder which other actor in the future can be more competent than Heath Ledger to elevate The Joker to the next level as its already at the highest level.

The Comical Genius called Amanullah Khan

Greetings my well wishers

Deviating from the usually serious topics on philosophy, social issues, patriortism and also my obsession with World Cinema, I’m sharing with you guys another interest of mine. No, no its not a chick or a High Society PYT, its stand up comedy.

We all know about the healing powers of laughter, and some of these stand up comedians are the Real embellishments of entertainment who have dedicated their lives to entertain us and hence improve our health.

In this monotonous world raucous hostility,a smile has become a rarity. These comedians are doing the stupendously laudable job of bringing smile on people’s faces!

And one such comical genius whose die hard fan I’ve recently become is Pakistani Punjabi comedian & classical singer from Lahore ”Amanullah Khan.“ Although not as popular as Pakistan’s other comical genius Omar Sharrif, Amanullah Khan cracks me up with his major awesome stand up comedy, and this is because he is a cracker.

This man is a powerhouse. He never does any mimicry. He only talks about real things in life , all stupid & dumb things we humans do and presents it in extremely funny way. And he also makes fun of himself, which very few comedians do. His USP is his body language which he utilises Perfectly. He looks like a Creepy Freak, because of his weird hairstyle but when it comes to comedy he is giving competition to even Raju Srivastava.

Watch Amanullah perform in the video below, the laughter is Guaranteed.

 

GODMEN or FRAUDMEN

Greetings my well wishers.

 

Its been ages since I last blogged. I’d been writing too much on movies, can’t help it. Cinema has seduced me in such an intense manner, that even Cleopatra can’t make up for it. I must plead gulity here of spending my time watching too many movies and not taking out time to blog.

But better late than never.

Many of you know must have heard about The AOL (Art of Living) and its founder SSRS — a.k.a Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, a.k.a Param Pujaniya Gurudev Sri Sri Ravishankarji, a.k.a His Holiness, the Maha Param Pujaniya Gurudev Prabhuji Vishwa Vidhaata Bhagwan Mahadevji  Sriman Sri Sri Ravi Shankarji Maharaj. As my misfortune would have it, a month ago I fell seriously ill with not one but two ailments. First being Acidity that caused excessive burping and acute headache and the other being a really bad cold the was persisting for almost 10 days. I was a sick man for about 3 weeks and was not doing anything productive due to the illness, including not coming online. After taking many antibiotics and sipping a lot of antacid ENO, I somehow recovered last week. So one of my mom’s acquaintances, a neighbourhood Aunty who works as an Art of Living Instructor (or Sewak as she and her ilk prefers to be called) recommended to my mom that I should undergo a 1 week Art of Living Course to get my body purified from all toxins and negativities by doing the various Kriyas (forms of Yoga). Despite my constant refusal, my mom booked me for this course as she, like all other caring Indian parents never wanted me to fall ill again. Although both my parents don’t believe in any Babajis or Godmen or Cultists, my mom thought that in the Art of Living, they only teach us different kinds of Meditations and make us perform various Kriyas to cleanse our bodies. But she was wrong. Although they do teach all the ways of mind, body and soul purification, its only 40% of the course. The rest, and major part of Art of Living is about His Holiness, the Maha Param Pujaniya Gurudev Prabhuji Vishwa Vidhaata Bhagwan Mahadevji  Sriman Sri Sri Ravi Shankarji Maharaj’s (henceforth shortened as HHMPPGPVVBMSSSRSM) Pravachans (Sermons), which is actually a sort of Propoganda, just like Communism, Nazism & Hindutva.

 

                                                     

His Holiness, the Maha Param Pujaniya Gurudev Prabhuji Vishwa Vidhaata Bhagwan Mahadevji  Sriman Sri Sri Ravi Shankarji Maharaj (HHMPPGPVVBMSSSRSM)

 

Now as a liberal, modern, unorthodox, non-superstitious, open minded, optimistic, positive thinking, educated person who has a Clear Perception (Ok enough exaggeration for myself), I personally as well as my family don’t believe in any Cults or any Godmen or Messengers of God.

Be it the Anti-Christ or Gothic movement, or Isreal’s Zionism and Kabbalah, or Joseph Smith Jr’s Mormonism or Tom Cruises’s publicized Scientology (Actually a creation of a fiction author L. Ron Hubbard) or even India’s very own body of beliefs on sex OSHO and also The Radha Soami movement that its follwers consider as a true way to realize God, I as well as my parents and many of my friends find all of them to be creepy and also ways of brainwashing people and ruining their lives.

And its not just these cults, its also these Gurujis & Babajis (Godmen) that I find to be hoax. Be it HHMPPGPVVBMSSSRSM (I’ve alreday explained its full form above) or Puttaparthi’s Sathya Sai Baba, or Asaram Bapu or Morari Bapu or Smt. Jaya Rao or Amma or Sri Sudhanshu Maharaj or Maha Yogi Pilot Baba or His Holiness Baba Hardev Singh ji’s Sant Nirankari Mission, all these Godman & women are actually or fraudmen & women as well as salesmen and women.

We all know that all these Cultists and their movements and missions are actually a cohesive social group devoted to beliefs or practices that the surrounding population considers to be outside the mainstream. And thats what these Cultists want us to be, away from the mainstream, be it our diet, clothing and god knows even sexual prefrences.

And these cultists are not restricted to Hinduism. Among Muslims there is the so called Scholar of all things Islamic, Dr. Zakir Naik who brainwashes Muslims about the teachings of Islam. Naik has extolled the moral and spiritual superiority of Islam and has lampooned other faiths and the West in general, also fostering a spirit of separateness and reinforced prejudice even among educated liberal muslims. While many of my Muslim friends have said that many things Naik wants Muslims to adopt are not listed in The Holy Quran and Naik, like all other Babajis, is doing this just to make money and live a luxurious life.

And among Christians, how can we forget the Faith Healer (or Fake Healer) Benny Hinn. He has promoted himself as a Christian healing evangelist and a child of Jesus himself. Like Zakir Naik, Benny Hinn has extolled the moral and spiritual superiority of Christianity and has lampooned other all faiths, majorly Judaism and Islam and has openly badmouthed homosexuality. His Divine prophocies have all been hoaxes, be it God destroying America’s Homosexual community in 1995 or Death of Fidel Catsro by 2000 or devastation of USA’s East Coast by several Earthquakes in 2003 or election of the first female president of the USA by 2004, while this is not happening even in 2008. His most absurd claim is that  Adam (Of Admam & Eve) was a “Superbeing” who could fly to the Moon.

4 Underrated and Under-appreciated Movies of Indian Hindi Cinema

In the past 60 years, as Indian Hindi Cinema evolved, there were some movies that were gems & masterpieces in their own right, some were seriously overwhelming gems, but were unfortunately commercially unsuccessful. The simple reasons for the box office failures for those movies were the fact that most of the movies either had no big stars and good music to bank upon, or the stories, characters and settings were very simple and realistic or the themes of many of those movies were way ahead of their times, hence the regressive audience couldn’t figure out what these movies wanted to convey, which was intelligent entertainment (Entertainment for the brain).

Like I’ve said about Hindi Cinema’s greatest films Haasil & Kagaz Ke Phool, which are perfect examples of Path Breaking Brilliant Cinema hardly seen by people.

Similarly here are some movies, these movies were not so great that they could make it into the top  10 List of my all time greatest Hindi Movies, but nonetheless these movies were all masterpieces and I’m sure 9 out of 10 people haven’t seen it and 5 out of 10 people must have forgotten these movies or are not even aware that such movies were ever made.

Ever since I resigned from my job, I’ve watched lots of Cinema, including Hindi Cinema and after experiencing the Good, Bad & Ugly of Bombay Movies, I present to you 4 Underrated and Under-appreciated movies of Hindi Cinema.

1. Karam -

Starring -John Abrahm, Priyanka Chopra, Bharat Dabholkar, Vishwajeet Pradhan, Murli Sharma, Rajesh Khera & Shiney Ahuja.

Directed By – Sanjay F. Gupta. Year Released – 2005

This movie was so emotionally & psychologically thrilling, the whole movie was charged with pulse pounding suspense and made so dark & sinister that gives you the tensive mood for the film. Directed by popular cinematographer Sanjay F. Gupta (not Kaante & Musfair director Sanjay Gupta), this movie was Hindi cinema’s tribute to Robert Rodriguez style of Bloodshed.

This is a well constructed film. All the sequences, violence, thrills, drama are all given the kind of treatments they deserve. Almost all the attempts, technical, are pulled off with success.

Although women and children will be turned off with too much blood flowing here and there and everywhere in this movie, Karam is a spectacle, a rousing spectacle, a roaring entertaining spectacle that invests its all in it. And Bharat Dabholkar is perfectly wicked as the villain Captain Sahab and Shiney Ahuja too delivers a competent performance as ACP Wagh.

2. Anthony Kaun Hai? -

Starring – Sanjay Dutt, Arshad Warsi, Minissha Lamba, Anusha Dhandekar, Gulshan Grover, Raghuvir Yadav, Chetan Hansraj & Ravi Baswani.

Directed By – Raj Kaushal. Year Released – 2006

Sanjay & Arshad are very popular for their partnership in Munna Bhai movies, but Anthony Kaun Hai can be counted as another Milestone in their careers where they simply got into the skin of their characters or should I say became the characters and performed their parts with utmost sincerity, there was not even a slight dose of over acting by any of them.

Unlike the Munna Bhai movies, Arshad Warsi is the protagonist over here while Sanjay Dutt is in a supporting role. And Arshad doesn’t disappoint at all, in fact he’s a delight as the Con Man Champ (Champak Chaudhary).

The major part of the movie is in Flashback mode, and Arshad Warsi narrates in perfectly. In fact if some part of the flashback is not liked by Sanjay Dutt, he slaps Arshad and tells him to come with a better scene. (Its Hilarious Indeed).

Its a slick Crime thriller (Seen rarely in Hindi Cinema) coupled with the case of Mistaken identity. The movie isn’t realistic; it is trying to give the impression that it is possible.

Sanjay Dutt gets less screen time and die hard Sanju fans may be disappointed, but whenever Sanjay is on the screen, he pulls off witty & hilarious one-liners with consummate ease, and they don’t feel like them, they feel wholly natural. In the process he has created one of the most likeable characters of modern Hindi cinema – Master Madan. After all, in how many movies have we actually liked and rooted for a Hitman (Contract Killer).

Unlike most Indian movies Bangkok (where this movie is set) is shown as an exotic destination, here Bangkok is shown as a chaotic world, where the characters struggle for their survival and they thrive. Those who fail to think quick, in those shrunken timelines, are executed within no time. And Arshad’s character survives coz the character of Champ is actually intelligent but made to appear dumb.

Like Munna Bhai & Circuit, you simply cannot imagine any other actors in the roles Sanjay & Arshad portrayed here.

3. Parwana -

Starring – Amitabh Bachchan, Navin Nischol, Om Prakash, Yogeeta Bali, Helen, Lalita Pawar, Asit Sen, Laxmi Chhaya & Shatrughan Sinha.

Directed By – Jyoti Swaroop. Year Released – 1971

There have been few thrillers that so effortlessly thrill you, keep you right on the edge of your seat, get you acquainted with such rich characters yet manage to knock you with killer twists and pull a fast one on you. Endlessly inventive, this is not one of those films that are just that. It explores the psychology of being a rejected lover hell bent on vengeance like no other Hindi film.

Can you believe it, Jyoti Swaroop who directed India’s finest comedy Padosan (a Total laugh riot) directed this movie as well, and this movie was as different from Padosan as chalk is from cheese, coz this movie is a Thriller and Jyoti Swaroop’s direction proved that he was as efficient at handling thrillers as he was with comedies. No wonder director Shriram Raghvan drew inspiration for this movie for his cult thriller Johnny Gaddaar.

This was one of Big B (Amitabh Bachchan’s) early movies (Pre Zanjeer & Pre Sholay). As he couldn’t continue to play second fiddle supporting roles all the time, here he was the lead star, but in a Negative Role, kind of roles which most big actors of that time stayed away from.

The movie is based on a real life incident that happened in the late 1960’s that forced Indian Railways to change their train’s time table.

Whatever is put on screen when you catch the movie, is riveting, aesthetically tasteful and to my surprise comes across as rather intelligent. Reason? Two of them-fantastic direction and wonderful performances, especially the scene when Om Prakash rejects Amitabh Bachchan’s proposal to marry his niece. You just see the expression on Big B’s face, his eyes depict his blood’s boiling. Another special mention is made for the courtroom sequences and the confrontations between Amitabh & Shatrughan Sinha ( who plays the Prosecutor) in the courtroom.

4. Lakhon Mein Ek -

Starring – Mehmood, Radha, Aruna Irani, Nasir Hussain, Mukri, Lalita Pawar, Madan Puri, Keshto Mukherjee, Ramesh Deo, Jalal Agha, Viju Khote & Pran.

Directed By – S.S. Balan. Year Released – 1971

This is one of the finest Comedy Dramas in Hindi Cinema. Here characters drive the plot, where each character signifying different shades of integrity, moral and otherwise, with respect to their greed for money change their attitude and behavior towards the protagonist – Bhola, played BRILLIANTLY by the legendary Mehmood. Needless to say, this again is a performance right out of the top drawer. (Yeah Mehmood was not just a comedian, he did do lead roles in many movies, and this was one his best performances in a lead role)

The movie takes us to the world of early 1970’s Bombay, when a large part of the middle class and lower income groups were living in what now seems to be getting extinct now – CHAALS. Mehmood plays an orphan who has grown up in this Chaal, and unlike other Chaal inhabitants, he doesn’t have his own home or for that matter a room. He sleeps below the staircase and has made that his makeshift home.

Bhola is bullied by most of the residents of the CHAAL and the only form of support and compassion comes from Pehelwan Shersingh (played effotlessly by the veteran ‘Pran’).

Lakhon Main Ek is the amazing journey of Bhola’s life where he falls in love with a schizophrenic Radha (brilliant performance by Kannadiga actress Gauri), is beaten up by the CHAAL bully Sujit Kumar, is seduced by the femmale fatale Aruna Irani, is bribed by the Bengali Dada of the CHAAL, Mr. Chatterjee (Keshto Mukherjee in complete form) and gets a long lost millionaire uncle from Singapore landed up (Madan Puri). Bhola’s reactions to these unpredictable & never thought of situations and circumstances make you fall in love with his character. And Mehmood as always, overshadows all. The movie also features an unforgettable melody Chanda O Chanda (Vinatge Kishore Kumar & Lata Mangeshkar).

Overall its 10/10 and Strongly recommended as its a story every middle class urban guy can relate to. Mehmood’s character Bhola is one of us and totally unlike the larger than life Plastic Studs of Yash Raj, Karan Johar, Rakesh Roshan duds.

So folks, do go and watch these 4 underrated gems of Indian Hindi Cinema. Its better to rent these movies on DVD or catch them on TV rather than wasting your time on pathetic shitty films like Tashan & Race.

Should you be proud of being an Indian?

Greetings my well wishers.

I was gonna write not 1, but 2 blogs on different subjects, but as I was just going through one of my very old blogs (Retro stuff you see) on Ibibo.com, I thought of sharing this Cult (Seriously cult) blog of mine with you. Coz this is the blog that has received a whopping 72 comments (highest number of comments for any blog of mine till now). The blog titled “Should you be proud of being an Indian?” was written and posted on the internet on January 13, 2007. And fortunately all the 72 comments it got were positive (All Praises you see)

Many of the readers of “Believe the Hype” haven’t read that blog, so I’m putting up an edited version of that blog over here. Also my old readers can refresh their memories by reading this blog again.

As I start this blog, I’m asking you all a question, are you Proud to be an Indian. And if you are OR if you are not, then why?

What makes you so proud of being an Indian?

On the other hand, what makes you Ashamed of being an Indian?

If you are Proud to be an Indian, what makes you proud of belonging to “THE POOREST OF THE POOR COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD”? What makes you proud of belonging to “THE MOST ILLETRATE COUNTRY IN THE WORLD”? What makes you proud of belonging to “The COUNTRY WITH THE HIGHEST HIV POSITIVE POPULATION”?

If you are Ashamed of being an Indian, what makes you ashamed of belonging to a nation that is considered a LAND OF ENDLESS SPIRITUALITY & UNREASONING MYSTICISM? What makes you ashamed of belonging to a country that boasts of “THE OLDEST & THE RICHEST CIVILIZATION IN THE WORLD – The Indus Valley (Harrapa) Civilization.” What makes you ashamed of belonging to the land where the almanacs of wisdom, priceless treasures of science & oceans of unending knowledge “THE VEDAS”, “THE UPNISHADS” & “THE BHAGWAD GEETA” & even the Holy “GURU GRANTH SAHIB” were composed. What makes you ashamed of belonging to the nation which produced the greatest Emperor to have ever lived on planet earth, not Alexander, not Akbar, not Genghis Khan, not King Louis the XIV, but our very own Emperor Ashoka the Great.

Now thats a Major Dilemma isn’t it.

You must be in splits by now. It must be tough deciding what you are, a proud Indian or unfortunate to be an Indian. It must be confusing whether to take pride being an Indian or cribbing yourself for being born in an Undeveloped Country.

As you take time in deciding on which side you are, let me tell you what I feel about my Indian Identity and whether I’m proud or ashamed of being an Indian. And I’m sure when you read my description of Yesterday’s & Today’s India, most of you will agree with me.

I, Shawn (Sushant Taing), am proud of the India that was, the India which used to be known as “Sone Ki Chidiya”. I am proud of the rich & prosperous India which flourished & bloomed under The Mauryan Empire, The Kushan Empire, The Gupta Empire, The Chola Dynasty, The Chaulakya Dynasty, The Rajputana Kingdoms, The Khilji Sultans, The Tughlaq Sultans & the greatest of them all – The Mughal Empire.

I am proud of the India that produced great Kings from Chandragupta Maurya, Kanishka, Chandragupta Vikramaditya, Raja Raja Chola, Harsha Vardhana to Prithvi Raj Chauhan, Maharana Pratap, Babar, Badshah Akbar, Jehangir, Shah Jahan, Chattrapati Shivaji, Maharaja Ranjit Singh and undisputedly the greatest of them all – Emperor Ashoka The Great.

I am proud of the India that produced divine and pious souls like Gautam Buddha, Mahavira, Chanakya (also known as Kautilya), Charkha, Sushrutha, Aryabhatta, Banabhatta, Kalidasa, Tulsidas, Hazrat Nizam-ud-din Aulia, Muin-ud-din Chisti, Abdul Rahim Khan-i-Khana, Sant Kabir, Sant Gyaneshwar, Mirabai, Chaitanya Mahabraphu, Guru Nanak Dev, Guru Gobind Singh & Shirdi wale Sai Baba.

I am proud of the India that produced reformists & visionaries like Rabindranath Tagore, Raja Ram Mohan Roy, Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar, Swami Vivekananda & Swami Dayanand Saraswati.

I am proud of the India that produced Freedom Fighters from Moderates like Mahatma Gandhi, Pt. Jawahar Lal Nehru, Sardar Vallabh Bhai Patel, Acharya Vinoba Bhave, Bipin Chandra Pal, Aurbindo Ghosh, Lala Lajpat Rai to Extremists like Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose, Bal Gangadhar Tilak, Veer Savarkar, Bhagat Singh, Chandrashekhar Azad, Chaphekar Brothers and Shaheed Uddham Singh.

I am proud of the India where Global Sports like Chess & Hockey were invented.

To be precise, I’m more proud of The Golden India (The Pre Independence India) that was the APPLE OF THE EYE OF THE ENTIRE EUROPE and THE JEWEL IN THE BRITISH ROYAL CROWN.

But I hardly find any reason to be proud of Today’s India, The 21^st Century India. An India, that after 60 years of Independence is still UNDEVELOPED, ILLITERATE, HIGHLY POLLUTED, OVER POPULATED, MALNURISHED, LARGLY UNEMPLOYED & FULL OF POVERTY. An INDIA whose both Houses of Parliament are full of mostly Goons, Dumb Asses & Pseudo-Intellectuals. An INDIA whose top investigation agency The CBI, takes more than 2 months to solve a simple Double Murder Case.

How can I be proud of an India which has THE MOST CORRUPT POLITICIANS, POLICEMAN, JUDICIARY and BEAURCRATS IN THE WORLD?

How can I be proud of an India where Serial Killers, Rapists, Kidnappers & other GUNDAAS become Members of Parliament (MP) and Members of Legislative Assembly (MLA)?

How can I be proud of an India where Social equality still doesn’t exist & where minority religious groups are still discriminated?

How can I be proud of an India where superstitions & blind-faith still exist – practices like Sati, Child Marriage & Dowry still plague India?

How can I be proud of an India where 90% of the movies are second rate – all RONA-DHONA & NAACH-GAANA & STORYLINES PLAGIARISED FROM HOLLYWOOD MOVIES and now EVEN from European, Iranian & Korean movies?

How can I be proud of an India which makes the most Disgusting kind of TV Serials (THE SAAS-BAHU SOAPS) and all those Over The Top Melodramatic Reality Shows – all 3^rd Rate?

How can I be proud of an India which has no Sports Culture, fails Miserably at all Olympics, has never won any major Soccer(Football) match, is going Down in the Dumps in its own game Hockey and has never been No. 1 in its most popular game – Cricket?

How can I be proud of an India whose media is so Biased? When we win an ordinary Cricket Match i.e. a One Day Match against Bangladesh, it hits the headlines in all Newspapers and TV News, but When Jaspal Rana Wins 3 Gold Medals in Shooting at The Asian Games (A Bigger Honour For the country) or Vishwanathan Anand regains World Number 1 Rank in Chess or Pankaj Advani wins a major International Billiards Tournament that story is reported somewhere in a small section in the Sports Column of The Newspaper and the visual media happily ignores it (As it doesn’t give them big ratings).

How can I be proud of an India where untalented jackasses like Himesh Reshammiya, Anu Malik, Qazi Touqueer and Sandeep Acharya are considered Rock stars and ugly Bimbos like Rakhi Sawant & Mallika Sherawat are considered Divas? (Just because they are experts in skin show).

And how can I be proud of an India whose Present Prime Minister is a mere Puppet & a coward and lacks decision making skills?

Clearly there are not many reasons for being proud of Today’s India.

But wait, don’t write off India as a bad country.

I’m proud of my country whose Armed Forces guard the post at Siachen Glacier under Minus 10 degree C Temperature everyday. They brave the bitter Cold, just to make the neighboring countries realize, ” Don’t take us for Granted “.

I’m proud of my country which has produced Intellectuals like Amartya Sen, Sir Salman Rushdie, Anita Desai, Kiran Desai, Vinod Khosla, Amar Bose, Sabeer Bhatia, Deepak Chopra, Shekhar Kapoor, Manoj Night Shyamalan, Mira Nair, Deepa Mehta, Vikram Seth, Amitav Ghosh, MF Hussain, SH Raza & Jhumpa Lahiri, all of whom have conqured the west.

I’m proud of my country which has produced Entrepreneurs like Lakshmi Mittal, Ratan Tata & Vijay Mallya who are buying foreign Companies & proving that Indians have arrived.

I’m also proud of my country where I break all the traffic rules and spit on the Streets (even in its capital where I live) and bribe the police so that I don’t pay up being arrested & fined.(Thats Sarcasm for the uninitiated)

As we say, it happens Only in India.

Buccaneers as politicians, copycats as musicians and vision less and imagination less chaps as film directors; that tears the veil from the real face of India! But still,even the darkest and gloomiest of Storm clouds have a silver lining,the vices might be overrunning the virtues right now,but still, there are enough reasons for us to be proud of our nationality!

Hence I’m a hardcore Proud Indian.

Hindustan Zindabad.