The question was, “Why have women been so Antagonized/Marginalized/Sidelined by all the world’s Religions (including the benevolent Buddhism) and even in history for that matter”?

To this question, after some rumination, introspection & analysis, I replied with this descriptive & a bit provocative answer.  Let me clear the air that I’m not a Feminist, never was. This Note is an honest, impartial &  candid opinion by me based on my observations & by no means meant to flatter and impress women. And I don’t care if it offends Chauvinistic men, coz they by all means deserve all the indignation.

You see, all Religions have one thing in common. They all are depraved works of Man Made fiction. Yes Man Made. Not woman made. No wonder the teachings from all Religions are from the Male point of view. (No wonder Polygamy is one sided.)

But why Sideline or marginalize women? For the simple reason that through millenniums, women around the world have been the best Multitaskers. They way they juggle Multiple responsibilities is highly praiseworthy. (No Sarcasm here). Women are better at organization skills and in my short life so far, I’ve seldom seen a woman’s/girl’s room to be as clumsy or disorganized as a man’s/boy’s room is (myself included). Woman raise kids, cook meals, look after the household affairs, balance relationships, preen (though some turn out to be hideous by preening), manage their Menstrual problems and many (increasingly) are joining the workforce. I especially admire the single Moms who balance their jobs & kids . All these are points plausible enough to prove why women are so good Multitaskers, something most men can never ever be.

Obviously, men have been consciously or unconsciously jealous of this fact and this is the reason why they used Religious/Dogmatic Texts and even many Philosophers used their writings to ensure that Women for all their wonderful qualities remain suppressed/dominated so that Men control all their affairs.

The great Aristotle, father of Logic, was a Misogynist and openly denounced Women as an “Inferior Species”. So, religion doesn’t get all the blame.

I must say it would seriously be a less Dysfunctional world if more women were in Power.

It won’t take a Rocket Scientist to explain that Women are more compassionate & empathetic than men. Women have always made more democratically elected leaders than tyrannical Despots (The Queen excluded). Men on the other hand look for the most trivial excuses to engage in combats & wars. Yeah, Men find wars & conflicts thrilling & stimulating as they are able to take out the wild beats in them. Men lack Nurturing qualities, period. This is the reason why Women give births & not men.

Had Religions & Philosophies not antagonized women & instead empowered them, there would’ve been a bit more love & understanding in this world which would’ve led to less violence, less wars, less bloodshed & probably No Nukes.

But then, what would’ve thrilled the beats i.e. us Men? Playstation games are always not enough.

*********************************************************************************************************

Although I had planned a Blog on The Badshah of Bullshit, “Shah Rukh Khan”, my watching a certain Bollywood Awards show changed my mind and I got a more interesting topic that I wanted to write on. Don’t you worry guys, the blog on “The Badshah of Bullshit – SRK” will come next and will come pretty soon, expect a lot of SRK bashing, but I guarantee you, this Blog of mine will perhaps be more intriguing than the one on SRK and it comes with a lot of Filmi Masala.

I came back home after having a rather insipid dinner with my family at the restaurant I would least Recommend to anyone, “Yellow Chilies” run by famous Celebrity Chef Sanjeev Kapoor (My Dad now despises him like anything) that’s at Sector-18 NOIDA with a few more branches in Delhi as well. With a bad taste in my mouth that I washed down with a can of Red Bull, I hoped to catch a repeat telecast of Laughter Challenge on either Star One or Star Plus at around 12:30 am. Unfortunately, that wasn’t meant to be as there was no Laughter Challenge on either the channels, what I instead got to see was “The 2007 IIFA Awards“, one of those nth Bollywood Awards Show that keep on popping every week or two.

This was a repeat Telecast as the show was 1st Telecast on June 17th 2007, but I didn’t care to see that as I haven’t seen any of those Filmy Award Functions for the past 5 years or so and as you read my blog, you will come to know why it is so.

Initially I wasn’t 1% interested in watching this nautanki or awards show as I had the feared that The Moron Shah Rukh Khan will pop up on the stage with his gay lover Karan Johar (Its True, Damn True) and the terrible duo will start a Trash Talk Marathon as they usually do on every other award function.

But thankfully the good news was, both SRK & Karan Johar were absent and this was a sigh of relief. I though ok, at least the Nautanki (Awards Function) will be watchable given the two morons were absent.

I hadn’t seen much television for a week, and as I’d missed the laughter challenge, I thought, let’s give IIFA a try, it may not make me laugh, but it will kind of entertain me. But after the awards function was over, I laughed at the Awards function more than I could have laughed at the Stand up Acts of Raju Srivastava, Rauf Lala or the new sensation Kapil Sharma.

I started my IIFA Experience by seeing Shilpa Shetty’s acceptance speech for an award from the people of Yorkshire for her poise during Big Brother. She mentioned that it’s her first award. Hmmm… does anyone wonder why?!

I guess some of you already know that I got no respect for Shilpa Shetty (If You have read my Blog on The Big Brother Furor) as she’s the one who put money over national pride during her Big Brother days by being a victim of racial abuse just because she had been paid a hefty amount of 3.5 Crores. So she got herself called as A Dog, A Paki and getting her country disgraced by some fuc**n white women just because money is more important than national pride.

Besharam Aurat

Coming Back to the awards Function, just a couple of thoughts, am I the only one who finds it irritating that the film industry is becoming like a family run business? The Kapoor Khandaan was bad enough like always. It just gets worse. Dharmendra accepts an award from Amitabh who regales the audience with anecdotes picked out from their long friendship. Just after you think that Amitabh will speak till eternity, enter the Punjabi Puttars Sunny & Bobby Deol, who turn up to support Daharam Uncle and all make a happy 3 some. It’s good that Dharam Uncle finally got an award at one of these functions where usually the organizers are busy giving 1 Award to the other to either Big B or Shah Rukh Khan. (Bhaad Main Jaa SRK)

 
But then the Real Nautanki Starts. Enter Abhishek Bachchan (This bloke by all means sucks Big Time) dancing to the title track of Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. This is what really got my goat. It’s only the industry brats like him, Salman Khan, Vivek Oberoi, Tusshar Kapoor etc who get away with just standing in one place, wriggling their fingers and calling it dancing. The dance steps are custom made for them. So this host of dancers dance sinuously around AB Junior and he stands there moving jerkily – an excuse for a dancer. If I have to suffer industry brats dancing, give me Hrithik or Shahid Kapoor please. They are not so good as actors, but at least they dance far better than the good for nothing AB Junior. My favourite grouse – the dozen children dancing around AB Junior in bikini tops – pelvic thrusts and all. Who are these parents who make their kids do this? The same ones who let them act in movies like Cheeni Kum. (Samjhe main kis pe Ishara kar raha hoon).

And the camera pans and there in the audience is Aishwarya doing the mawaali dance. Jumping around in her seat like a cat on ecstasy, and possibly at her least inhibited on camera ever. For a moment the uncharitable thought that she was faking it crossed my mind. But my mind checked it by reminding me of how I behave when AB Junior is on stage or on the screen, feeling of Disgust. But still there is such a sense of pride and joy when someone you love is up on stage or on camera, even if he is Pathetic (case in point AB Junior), you still cheer him up, hai na Aishwaria Aunty. (After all, she’s allegedly 13 years older than me).

Getting back to the damn awards, the camera then pans and we catch Shweta Bachchan Nanda and the Big B. All waving and dancing in their seats. The song ended with the Big B joining his precious heir on stage. Blech.

Hideous

Saif presented his sister Soha Ali Khan an award (You know why?). Katrina was glowing and Sohail Khan was doing the cat on hot bricks thing while Salman danced.

 
It’s happened before. The whole thing just makes me feel uncomfortable. Like an outsider being privy to a family function. The Kapoors, Bachchans, Khans and Bhatts – all producing, directing and acting – an incestuous little group. And then, I don’t know if it was planned or just plain ironic – the camera settled on Akshay Kumar’s face. There is something about him that I like. The whole son of the soil thing. No father. No Godfather. I might be wrong – but I have no knowledge of nor have I heard of any gossip about him sleeping with or killing someone to get where he is. The look on his face was indescribable. Almost wistful. Akshay Kumar (Rajiv Bhatia) is a Self Made Man, a Success Story, without any Filmy connections and neither any training in acting, this guy has scaled all heights by sheer hard work that has made him and today he’s one of the finest as well as one of the most highly paid actors in the industry.

Later on, Anil Kapoor and Akshay Khanna turned up to present an award but I missed out what it was because I was busy gaping at Anil Kapoor. Do you wear a tie with a Dinner Jacket/tuxedo? Am I hopelessly behind the times or so sartorially clueless? I thought a DJ meant only bow tie! Please correct me if I am wrong. For now I just want to smack and him and send him home to wear a bow tie. (And the awards were held in Yorkshire – who the hell wants to watch them there? ). Mr. Kapoor you were a Fashion Disaster, learn a thing or two form the simple yet stylish Akshaye Khanna who accompanied you.

And then the icing on the cake – Hrithik Roshan getting the award for Best Actor for Krrish. And Amir Khan in Rang De Basanti losing it to him. No wonder, Aamir boycotts all these awards. A more rigged award I am yet to come across.

In other observations, Rekha still looks gorgeous. Lara Dutta has a beautiful voice and fantastic diction. Aishwarya walked up on Abhishek Bachchan’s arm (they were introduced) as the Golden Couple!) to present some award and he looked like an awkward school boy allowed to walk alongside the teacher he has a crush on. She needs to tighten her tummy and he needs to SHAVE!!! (Bloody Goofball didn’t shave on his wedding Day either). This stubble is growing stale really fast.

Ash and the Ass

Kangana Ranaut looks good – till she opens her mouth and the thick accent sends you running for ear muffs. Oh!! And you must check out the teeny, petite Raima Sen’s stomach below. I feel Adnan Sami’s become thinner already.

Raima ho gayi Moti

A lot of ad film makers are hitting Bollywood and I am glad – tired of this whole thing becoming a family run business. Thankfully Yours Truly doesn’t do much writing on Bollywood or else I would be frothing at the mouth by now. I think I shall reinforce the ban on watching Bollywood Award Functions.

The Nautanki (IIFA) ended with the wooden Salman Khan shaking a leg.. a very wooden leg. And then a veiled figure joined him – throwing off the dupatta to reveal the most dreadful of them all- Govinda, the King of everything Over The Top. I certainly don’t wanna be your Partner.

I’ve blogged after a long long time, hell I can say its almost been eternity since I last blogged. Anyways I won’t make any excuses for not being active for so long.

Lets begin with the issue I’m addressing with this blog.

There have many many of those so called PATRIOTIC Indians who have always come up with the world’s most pathetic generalisation, i.e. by  stressing on the fact that, “You are not a true Indian if you are not obsessed with Cricket & Bollywood“.

Now as you all know that I’m by no means a Cricket lover (& Sachin or for that matter Sir Bradman are not my Gods), but I do believe that Cricket runs in the blood of a large majority of Indians, as it truly unifies us and our Cricket team now represents almost every colour of the diverse multicultural rainbow our great nation is.

So yes, we can say that a large majority of Indians are Cricket maniacs.

But when the talk of Bollywood comes in, I beg to differ (In a major way).

Often Indian Cinema, is presented to western audiences as Bollywood. And Bollywood doesn’t mean simply Hindi Movies.

It means all those Hindi Movies of post 90′s era that are Loud, Cheesy, Over The Top, Logicless, Melodramatic, NAACH GAANA RONA DHONA infused kind of Nautankis whose plots are mostly plagiarized from South Indian & Bengali as well as Hollywood, European & even Persian and Korean movies now.

Theres much more to Indian Entertainment than Yash Raj, Dharma Productions, Balaji, Rajshree Productions, Red Chillies Entertainemnt and the movies of Sanjay Leela Bhansali, David Dhawan, Ram Gopal Verma & Mahesh Bhatt.

For me, good Indian Hindi Cinema (not Bollywood) is the Cinema that didn’t believe in extremes. Extremes being either Poverty & Misery (The Sudhir Mishra, Deepa Mehta, Madhur Bhandarkar & now Danny Boyle school of movies) or Extravagance & Aristocracy (The Chopra, Johar, Ghai & Bhansali school of movies).

Indian Hindi Cinema for me are the movies I can relate to, the movies that make me feel, “Fuck Man, this can really happen“. Its that cinema that had pioneers like Guru Dutt, Hrishikesh Mukherjee, Vijay ‘Goldie’ Anand and now today Anurag Kashyap, Nagesh Kuknoor, Rajat Kapoor & Dibakar Banerjee  are the torchbearers of that cinema. And yes that cinema is by no means Shyam Benegal, Muzzafar Ali or Govind Nihalani’s largely unwatchable parallel arthouse cinema.

I was just going through an old issue of Society magazine  (September 2008) and I read the following comments from some Shuchi Pandya, a jewelry merchandiser in Mumbai. I simply puked, yes puked after reading her comments. I was so disgusted by reading them. Luckily there was some Heineken Beer available to drink to calm myself down. Heres what she says -

“If you take all the pieces of Bollywood out of our lives – the celebrities on the billboards, the item songs in the nightclubs, the stars on Page 3, the brand endorsements by the hearthrobs – Indians would find their lives to be completely empty,” said Shuchi Pandya, a jewelry merchandiser in Mumbai. “It’s subconscious. Even if you don’t enjoy Bollywood movies, it becomes a part of your life.”

Well, I don’t have a very high opinion of the current generation of both Resident & Non-Resident Indian masses when it comes to their choices in entertainment (the success of shitty films like Om Shanti Om, Dhoom 2, Partner, Hey Baby, Welcome, Race, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi & Ghajini etc as well as the growing popularity of sensationalised & voyeuristic Hindi news channels, Ekta Kapoor’s Melodramtic Over The Top Saas-Bahu Serials & Himesh Reshammiya’s ear piercing Nasal Music, all together prove my point) but this generalization is simply untrue.

Ms. Shuchi Pandya should speak for herself/himself and the Bollywood fans she is friends with and not generalize that all Indians lead lives of such pathetic and unrelieved shallowness that the only matter animating them is Bollywood movies. The editorial team at Society magazine are idiot sensationalists willing to convey the impression to their ‘Vilaayti‘ readers that all Indians are empty-headed morons.

Apart from me, there are many Indians I know, for whom Bollywood movies occupy limited or no space at all in their minds.
Down with this Pathetic Generalization.

Even Bengalis are not so much into Bollywood (Mithudna & Prosenjit are equal to the Khans there) and the rural population of UP & Bihar has now started connecting better with the Bhojpuri movies as Bollywood mostly glorifies Punjabi culture – all Yash Chopra, Subhash Ghai & Karan Johar movies prove the point. No wonder, in the UP-Bihar belt, Ravi Kissan & Manoj Tiwari have come in the same league of mass popularity as the Khans while Nagma is also in the same league as Aishwaria Rai or Katrina Kaif.

So this proves that a large percentage of the Indian population, almost 35 to 40% of it doesn’t have Bollywood stuck in their heads. And why should they? After all, Bollywood has always been Stereotyping most of them.

So, Ms. Shuchi Pandya and your ilk, think 1000 times & do some research the next time you Generalize Indians.  Yours Ms. Pandya is a classic case of the frog in the well thinking the whole world is in the well. The stupidity which passes for intellectualism in our culture, shows the intellectual degradation of the elites.

Its after a very long time that I’ve blogged. I really appologise for my long absence. But I promise you that the stuff I’m gonna bombard you with will leave you gobsmacked.

Okie enough of exaggeration, this post of mine is about one of the most underrated Rock Bands in the world today and one of my personal favourites, LOSTPROPHETS.

I don’t know how many of you are interested in Rock music these days, coz we’r living in the age of Hip-Hop & Trance music (the age of Himesh for most of my native Indians). But I can always vouch for Rock music being one of the most Feel Good & Melancholy Eradicating forms of music in the world. And especially if it comes from the heartland of Rock – the United Kingdom.

Lostprophets is one hell of an amazing band. They are a gropu of 20- something Welsh boys, all from very humble backgrounds. The gropu comprises of Ian Watkins (Lead Vocals), Jamie Oliver (Keyboard, Synthesiser & Addt. Vocals), Lee Gaze (Lead Guitar), Mike Lewis (Guitar & Addt. Vocals), Stuart Richardson (Bassist) and Ilan Rubin (Drums & Percussion). They juggle with Genres from Hard Rock,  Punk Rock, Alternative Rock & Alternative Metal. I must say they are far better than the overrated and not so memorable French -Canadian Band  Simple Plan.

Lostprophets have given us some ming boggling Tracks such as “Rooftops, Last Train Home, Everyday Combat, Burn Burn, Shinobi vs Dragon Ninja & Last Summer”.

But “A Town Called Hypocrisy” is in my opinion their best track ever, and perhaps the best British Rock Song in the 21st Century (okie, Coldplay’s Speed of Sound & Viva La Vida are equally good).

And when a Kick Ass Rock Song gets complimented by an equally awesome Music Video, its purely icing on the Cake.

Heres the Music Video for you to view and enjoy. Its completely hilarious. Its set in the late 70s Britain and features the Band’s lead Vocalist ‘Ian Watkins’ as the Host of an Educational Kids Show where he teaches the lesson of the day being ‘Sharing & Oral Hygeine’. Now thats a lot of Double meaning stuff going on here, which makes the whole video a treat to watch. And plus Ian Watkin’s acting is 1st rate, he sure gives Jon Bon Jovi competition when it comes to making sarcastic and raunchy expressions.

I’m sure you all have loved both the song and the video. I guess I’ve made Lostprophets win some new fans. In case some of you have any suspicions about the band, let me clear the Air.  These guys are not Weirdo Goths like Marilyn Manson or Bad Hair Day Cribbing Emos like the band KISS.

Director: – Paul McGuigan

Screenplay: – Jason Smilovic

Year Released: – 2006

Run Time: – 1hr & 52 Minutes

We all know almost every story moves like a tidal wave with a linear format. First comes the Exposition, then the Rising Action, then the Climax, then the falling Action and finally the resolution, or should we say the end. And then there are guys like Quentin Tarantino, who make it more exciting and sometimes mind numbing by narrating all those elements of the story in a non-linear format. However, on some rare occasions, a highly creative juggernaut comes up with a piece of fiction, that has all the elements of a story and everything going in a linear format, but just when you thought the resolution has come and the story has concluded, the creator breaks the conventional rules and comes up with a hard hitting anti- climax. An Anti-Climax is not just another twist or turn or a case of Double or Tripple Cross, it is an event or a sequence (in case of a movie) that completely changes the track of the story (a sort of a U-Turn) and you get to know that all the loopholes that were earlier in the story had actually some connection or the other with the event that’s gonna happen next. In fact, after the establishment of the anti-climax, the genre of the narrative becomes totally different than what you thought it was all along. Not every writer, even the best ones can come up with an efficient anti-climax, and not every anti-climax is hard to digest. In the world of cinema, the perfect examples of Anti-Climaxes have been in Cult Movies like Bryan Singer’s “The Usual Suspects” and Chan wook-Park’s Divinely Korean Epic Film “Oldboy”. In both the movies, just when the viewer thought the end credits were about to roll, suddenly the viewer got the surprise of his/her life, that bowled him/her over.

Today I watched a very underrated & under-appreciated movie featuring an A-List Ensemble Cast and one of the perfect doses of Anti-Climax. The movie is called “Lucky Number Slevin” (and not seven). And I was indeed bowled over by the flick.
 
This film took me by surprise. It is an excellent movie with a compelling story, wonderful acting, and brilliant direction. I have not seen a gangster movie as intense since Infernal Affairs. It is the most complete and multi-dimensional Crime Thriller movie ever made after Al Pacino’s 1993 masterpiece “Carlito’s Way”. The movie is so damn intelligent that it is scary. It is a maze of really complex and it demands our complete attention for the whole running time. I got to admit that I watched this movie two more times, just to find a loophole. And I haven’t succeeded.

Without any spoilers, here is the plot. In Manhattan (New York), when the unlucky newcomer Slevin (Josh Hartnett) arrives in the apartment of his friend Nick Fisher (Sam Jaeger) for some leisure time, he is mistakenly taken as being Nick, who debts money to two powerful bosses of the criminal world. He is pressed by The Boss (Morgan Freeman) to kill the Homosexual son of The Rabbi (Sir Ben Kingsley, yup the same man who portrayed the iconic role of Gandhi in Richard Attenborough’s classic), as a payback for the death of The Boss’s son and pay off $33,000 to The Rabbi. Nick’s next door neighbor, Lindsay (a fast talking, incredibly seductive Lucy Liu), who works in the morgue, tries to help Slevin. Meanwhile, a mysterious man called Mr. Goodkat (Bruce Willis) is secretly plotting to kill Slevin and Slevin is under constant surveillance by the relentless Detective Brikowski (Stanley Tucci). As the movie’s Tagline goes, Slevin is at the “Wrong Place” at the “Wrong Time”.

From the first five minutes of the film, about five people die but you’re not so sure. Mainly, you’re not so sure of anything because this film is trying to be clever, trying to run you into false conclusions. On top of that, the film goes in a fast pace, so you will have to keep up and be on the edge of your seat. This film will keep your attention from top to bottom, provided you can stomach the bloody violence and sexual content.

The performances by the A-List Ensemble Cast are all First rate. Morgan Freeman is brilliant with his usual suave charm. Ben Kingsley is terrific as a Palestinian Crime Boss. Stanley Tucci’s character transforms perfectly from good to evil. Bruce Willis shows us again why he is a brilliant action star and why he is a natural born on-screen killer, something Sanjay Dutt & Akshay Kumar in Bollywood and Colin Farell in Hollywood can never ever achieve (And I mean it). But the movie belongs to the protagonist, i.e. Josh Hartnett in an author backed role he does full justice to.

This movie is a prime example of how a movie can be infinitely involving, thought provoking and artistic. This is the stuff great movies and masterpieces are made of. If you’re one of those people trying to look for a thriller that tries to keep you guessing until the end, you will love this movie. Lucky Number Slevin should be on the top of your list of intelligent and ingenious thrillers.

Most of you know that I’m not in love with Bollywood movies. I don’t like most of them, especially the post 1980s movies. With predictable story lines, irrelevant songs & dances, larger than life characters, unnecessary melodrama and bad acting by most cast members, 90% of Bollywood Movies are Extremely Crappy & Totally Ridiculous (in my opinion).

However, once in a few years, Hindi Cinema comes up with a movie that captures my attention and keeps me thinking about it. In the 21^st Century, there have been only 3 movies that have registered an impact on my mind and these are the movies that are genuinely a treat to watch no matter how many times you see them. The 3 movies are – Dil Chahta Hai, Munna Bhai MBBS and last year’s Johnny Gaddaar. And Johnny Gaddaar is really one hell of a Cinematic Masterpiece.

Johnny Gaddaar is a rare thriller in Indian Hindi Cinema with more than a dash of panache, and the slightest of chuckle. One of the greatest films and a very original one in this age of Plagiarism, to come out of Indian cinema. And that it has been underappreciated to the point of sin in favor of more substandard fare (like Om Shanti Om, Saawariya, Partner, Hey Baby, Welcome, Race and other crap) is more tragic than the ending at hand. This lad, Neil Nitin Mukesh is a dynamite and I just cannot get enough of that Sanjeev Kumar imitation. Dead on. And the supporting cast is equally good. Dharmendra proves why he’s one of the most dependable veterants in Hindi Cinema today with his classy act. Vinay Pathak delivers another brilliant performance and proves why he today is one of the most versatile actors in the country. Both Zakir Hussain & Govind Namdeo are perfect at spitting venom at the protagonist.

I sincerely believe Sriram Raghavan’s Johnny Gaddaar will attain the highly influential status in years to come as a film that will be run unendingly in cinema schools all over the country to carefully peel over the brilliant clarity of its narrative and its almost uncanny knack of pulling off the Hitchcock-ian trick. Its film that will probably be remade 30 years down the line and a film that could act as a wonderful export to International Film Festivals.

The story is simple nut and bolt stuff about a huge chunk of money and a member’s, in this case Vikram (Neil Nitin Mukesh), plan to lighten his partners of that sum. Of course, the nuts and bolts assemble into a wonderful whodunit-why dunit-how dunit but that is not the lone specialty here. But it is the clarity of the narrative and the ability of the filmmaker to play with audiences that makes Johnny Gaddaar a supreme film.

And this is a brilliant film, probably the one Indian film that will grow a cult following down the years.

Johnny Gaddaar isn’t mere thrilling escapist fare, there is that moral struggle of a mole that doesn’t beat its chest and shout but remains where it belongs, internally. And I can’t remember even a single sequence out of place. Quentin Tarantino once said that he wants to make movies for Friday nights, for audiences to have an absolute blast. This is one such film, a film that besides its central strength of the thrills and chills has plenty much to offer for the cinema lover, a hell of a lot of garnish.

I wish I had thousands of DVDs of this Cinematic Masterpiece so that I could distribute it among all my friends (including readers of the blog). However right now, you can’t eat the whole cake, but can definitely sample a slice of it, which is why I’m sharing with you a good quality video of this masterpiece movie. Enjoy the first 10 minutes of the movie and be thrilled.

In my opinion, The Joker (not any circus clown or court jester but the psychotic criminal from “Batman” series) is the Greatest Fictional Supervillain of all time, and even the Batman comics never give a reason to his nature.

He is an absolute, there is no origin story to him. Even his entry into the comics was out of nowhere; he just enters their world and commits gruesome murders.

Joker is ultra evil personified. He’s not just evil, he’s menacing, diabolical, tripple crossing, merciless psycopath. He has ZERO compassion or sympathy for anyone, not even himself.

While other villians like Hannibal Lector, Norman Bates, Darth Vader and the Green Goblin were not evil, they became evil as a result of hostile circumstances. The Joker on the other hand has always been evil from the beginning to the end.

Whats the best thing about the Joker is that without any special superpowers (in case of Darth Vader) or without any armoured bodysuit (Dr. Doom and Green Goblin) or without any special weapon (Kryptonite in case of Luthor), The Joker succeeds big time in unleashing maximum fear and chaos among the people of Gotham City. In fact Batman has never been able to eliminate The Joker in any of the comic books or cartoons.

The Joker is not just psychotic and insane. He’s funny, crazy, weird, whacky, wild and at the same time equally creepy, wicked, menacing, diabolical and revengeful. Bollywood villains like Gabbar Singh from Sholay, Mogambo from Mr. India and Shakaal from Shaan can anyday be easily eliminated by The Joker. (Now please don’t call me an unpatriotic Indian)

Its not a piece of cake to portray a character as multi dimensional as The Joker and on planet earth, not more than Half a Dozen actors are capable of doing so.

No wonder when the two Batman movies were made featuring Joker as the villain, the studio bosses had chosen the most competent actors of their times to play such a role, or should I say live the character.

In 1989, when Warner Brothers released the first Batman movie titled “Batman” with maestro director Tim Burton calling the shots, the role of the Joker went to the only actor at that time who had the balls and the acting chops to be Joker, i.e. Jack Nicholson.

Left – Jack Nicholson as Joker in Batman (1989). Right – Heath Ledger as Joker in The Dark Knight

Jack Nicholson is one of the greatest and one of the most profound influences on me, first as a movie-goer and more importantly as a person. Though he’s no Al Pacino or Daniel Day-Lewis or Robert De Niro or Johnny Depp, Jack has consistently been a fantastic performer from One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest to Anger Management to the recent Bucket List. Jack can do wonderful things, he is a trickster who is fantastic to look at, like in The Departed or in The Shining, and he is someone who could affect you at a personal level. You’ll laugh with him, you’ll see how wonderfully he delivers a line, and you would have him create a character that is going to influence you forever.

As the 1989 Batman was made at a time when the Batman comics creator and perhaps the greatest legend in comic book history “Bob Kane” was alive, that movie was not as spine chilling edge of the seat thriller like this year’s Blockbuster “Dark Knight“, rather it was more of a comic book adaptation of a movie.

Jack Nicholson’s Joker was of the Slapstick kind, a goofy maniac. However Jack Nicholson never let his Joker become a buffoon or a stereotyped caricature like Jim Carrey and Tommy-Lee Jones beacme as The Riddler and Two Face respectively in the disappointing 1994 sequel Batman Forever.

Here’s an extraodianry scene from the Batman (1989) where Jack Nicholson as The Joker crashes a meeting of Mafia King Pins. Watch out for the Joker’s brilliant and witty one liners – “You are my Number one Guy” and “I’m Glad You’r Dead“.

Fast Forward to the year 2008. Warner Brothers had a successfull collaboration with the revival of the Batman series with another Maestro Director Christopher Nolan calling the shots. Their 2005 venture “Batman Begins” was a blockbuster and a critics favourite as well and hence the 2008 sequel “The Dark Knight” had to be obviously better in all departments and hence much darker.

When Jack Nicholson heard that Christopher Nolan is bringing back the Joker in this movie, Jack requested Nolan to cast him so that Jack could reprise his iconic act that he had perfected. But Jack is 77 now, plus as this version was not slapstick comic book stuff, but a dark gruesome death defying one, like all characters, The Joker deserved a younger and a highly competent actor to pull it off.

Jim Carrey cannot do it (He can be either funny or evil, but not both at the same time, remember the hammy Riddler in Batman Forever). Vince Vaughn also can never pull it off. (Remember his third rate performance as Norman Bates in the remake of Psycho). Sacha Baron Cohen, oh forget it. (Borat is a saint infront of Joker). Will Farell (He’s only funny, he will look funnier if he acts evil). Adam Sandler (No, not much acting potential). Edward Norton could do it. (But after what Jack Nicholson did in 1989, the standards were too high)

I thought maybe the studio bosses & Nolan would settle for Daniel Day-Lewis or Kevin Spacey. When it was announced that the now Late Heath Ledger is playing the new Joker, I doubted his acting abilities. I’d not seen much of him except in the action comedy “A Knight’s Tale” and the awful Gay Cowboy Drama “Brokeback Mountain“. At that time I’d thought of Heath as a Good actor, but in my wildest of  dreams had I ever imagined that Heath could do justice to the character of Joker. After all Jack Nicholson had played immortal characters in films like Chinatown and The Shining before Batman was released in 1989, but Heath hadn’t done anything of such high magnitude.

But when I saw The Dark Knight, I was spellbound and Heath’s performance left me speechless in all the viewings of the movie. For not only Heath became The Joker, he raised the bar so high that no matter how many legendary and competent actors come and go, no one and I believe no one can ever play The Joker even half as SUPERB as Heath Ledger did in The Dark Knight.

Unlike Darth Vader or Hannibal Lector, Heath Ledger’s Joker is something else. Those monsters succeeded in merely eroding the belief for men in the world surrounding them. This one here destroys the very moral foundation upon which the same men base that belief. Pay attention to every line of his. There’s great meaning and a great method to all of them. It is one of the greatest written characters of our times since Michael Corleone (The Godfather), Edward Scissorhands, Travis Bickle (Taxi Driver), Raju Guide (Guide) and Tyler Durden (Fight Club).

The Late Heath Ledger has created something of a flawless masterpiece of mannerisms and chewy larger-than-life supervillain. It is a colossal performance, and it is built with great precision upon what seems like a million parts. You have to watch the film at least three times to even get a complete hold of that performance alone. So yes, IT IS THAT GOOD. Consider a moment where one of the crime bosses interrupts his sentence and calls him a freak. Ledger’s Joker is visibly distracted but still completes what he’s saying. And then he looks at the boss and hits them back with a statement that is much more verbally insulting than any usage of an insult like ‘freak’ can be. Ledger’s Joker is not insane; he’s so brilliant he looks insane.  This here is the definitive version of the greatest villain of all time. It makes me immensely sad because there’s great tragedy when an artist isn’t there when his achievement receives such universal praise. I wish to God he was here to see all of this. May his soul rest in peace.

Heath Ledger made the Joker exude such immense class and virtue and made him the coolest villian ever shown on screen. It was for the first time that while watching a movie, me and all my friends were rooting for a villian throughout the movie (that too an ultra evil one) rather than the hero, or in this case, The Superhero.

Below is a scene from the Dark Knight which contains the best catchphrases of the movie, “Why So Serious” and “Lets Put a Smile on that Face“.

So now that you have read my analysis on both the Jokers (Jack Nicholson & Heath Ledger) and most of you must have watched both the thespians perform their act in the videos above, it must not have been easy for anyone of you to compare the two and come with a conclusion that which is the better Joker. As both actors belong to different generations and different schools of acting, its unfair to say which one is better.

I’ll end this up by saying that as far as movie villians are concerned, “The Joker” has been a treat for all cinema lovers in both the Batman movies. I wonder which other actor in the future can be more competent than Heath Ledger to elevate The Joker to the next level as its already at the highest level.

Deviating from the usually serious topics on philosophy, social issues, patriortism and also my obsession with World Cinema, I’m sharing with you guys another interest of mine. No, no its not a chick or a High Society PYT, its stand up comedy.

We all know about the healing powers of laughter, and some of these stand up comedians are the Real embellishments of entertainment who have dedicated their lives to entertain us and hence improve our health.

In this monotonous world raucous hostility,a smile has become a rarity. These comedians are doing the stupendously laudable job of bringing smile on people’s faces!

And one such comical genius whose die hard fan I’ve recently become is Pakistani Punjabi comedian & classical singer from Lahore ”Amanullah Khan.“ Although not as popular as Pakistan’s other comical genius Omar Sharrif, Amanullah Khan cracks me up with his major awesome stand up comedy, and this is because he is a cracker.

This man is a powerhouse. He never does any mimicry. He only talks about real things in life , all stupid & dumb things we humans do and presents it in extremely funny way. And he also makes fun of himself, which very few comedians do. His USP is his body language which he utilises Perfectly. He looks like a Creepy Freak, because of his weird hairstyle but when it comes to comedy he is giving competition to even Raju Srivastava.

Watch Amanullah perform in the video below, the laughter is Guaranteed.

Its been ages since I last blogged. I’d been writing too much on movies, can’t help it. Cinema has seduced me in such an intense manner, that even Cleopatra can’t make up for it. I must plead gulity here of spending my time watching too many movies and not taking out time to blog.

But better late than never.

Many of you know must have heard about The AOL (Art of Living) and its founder SSRS — a.k.a Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, a.k.a Param Pujaniya Gurudev Sri Sri Ravishankarji, a.k.a His Holiness, the Maha Param Pujaniya Gurudev Prabhuji Vishwa Vidhaata Bhagwan Mahadevji  Sriman Sri Sri Ravi Shankarji Maharaj. As my misfortune would have it, a month ago I fell seriously ill with not one but two ailments. First being Acidity that caused excessive burping and acute headache and the other being a really bad cold the was persisting for almost 10 days. I was a sick man for about 3 weeks and was not doing anything productive due to the illness, including not coming online. After taking many antibiotics and sipping a lot of antacid ENO, I somehow recovered last week. So one of my mom’s acquaintances, a neighbourhood Aunty who works as an Art of Living Instructor (or Sewak as she and her ilk prefers to be called) recommended to my mom that I should undergo a 1 week Art of Living Course to get my body purified from all toxins and negativities by doing the various Kriyas (forms of Yoga). Despite my constant refusal, my mom booked me for this course as she, like all other caring Indian parents never wanted me to fall ill again. Although both my parents don’t believe in any Babajis or Godmen or Cultists, my mom thought that in the Art of Living, they only teach us different kinds of Meditations and make us perform various Kriyas to cleanse our bodies. But she was wrong. Although they do teach all the ways of mind, body and soul purification, its only 40% of the course. The rest, and major part of Art of Living is about His Holiness, the Maha Param Pujaniya Gurudev Prabhuji Vishwa Vidhaata Bhagwan Mahadevji  Sriman Sri Sri Ravi Shankarji Maharaj’s (henceforth shortened as HHMPPGPVVBMSSSRSM) Pravachans (Sermons), which is actually a sort of Propoganda, just like Communism, Nazism & Hindutva.

His Holiness, the Maha Param Pujaniya Gurudev Prabhuji Vishwa Vidhaata Bhagwan Mahadevji  Sriman Sri Sri Ravi Shankarji Maharaj (HHMPPGPVVBMSSSRSM)

Now as a liberal, modern, unorthodox, non-superstitious, open minded, optimistic, positive thinking, educated person who has a Clear Perception (Ok enough exaggeration for myself), I personally as well as my family don’t believe in any Cults or any Godmen or Messengers of God.

Be it the Anti-Christ or Gothic movement, or Isreal’s Zionism and Kabbalah, or Joseph Smith Jr’s Mormonism or Tom Cruises’s publicized Scientology (Actually a creation of a fiction author L. Ron Hubbard) or even India’s very own body of beliefs on sex OSHO and also The Radha Soami movement that its follwers consider as a true way to realize God, I as well as my parents and many of my friends find all of them to be creepy and also ways of brainwashing people and ruining their lives.

And its not just these cults, its also these Gurujis & Babajis (Godmen) that I find to be hoax. Be it HHMPPGPVVBMSSSRSM (I’ve alreday explained its full form above) or Puttaparthi’s Sathya Sai Baba, or Asaram Bapu or Morari Bapu or Smt. Jaya Rao or Amma or Sri Sudhanshu Maharaj or Maha Yogi Pilot Baba or His Holiness Baba Hardev Singh ji’s Sant Nirankari Mission, all these Godman & women are actually or fraudmen & women as well as salesmen and women.

We all know that all these Cultists and their movements and missions are actually a cohesive social group devoted to beliefs or practices that the surrounding population considers to be outside the mainstream. And thats what these Cultists want us to be, away from the mainstream, be it our diet, clothing and god knows even sexual prefrences.

And these cultists are not restricted to Hinduism. Among Muslims there is the so called Scholar of all things Islamic, Dr. Zakir Naik who brainwashes Muslims about the teachings of Islam. Naik has extolled the moral and spiritual superiority of Islam and has lampooned other faiths and the West in general, also fostering a spirit of separateness and reinforced prejudice even among educated liberal muslims. While many of my Muslim friends have said that many things Naik wants Muslims to adopt are not listed in The Holy Quran and Naik, like all other Babajis, is doing this just to make money and live a luxurious life.

And among Christians, how can we forget the Faith Healer (or Fake Healer) Benny Hinn. He has promoted himself as a Christian healing evangelist and a child of Jesus himself. Like Zakir Naik, Benny Hinn has extolled the moral and spiritual superiority of Christianity and has lampooned other all faiths, majorly Judaism and Islam and has openly badmouthed homosexuality. His Divine prophocies have all been hoaxes, be it God destroying America’s Homosexual community in 1995 or Death of Fidel Catsro by 2000 or devastation of USA’s East Coast by several Earthquakes in 2003 or election of the first female president of the USA by 2004, while this is not happening even in 2008. His most absurd claim is that  Adam (Of Admam & Eve) was a “Superbeing” who could fly to the Moon.